Hello, my name is Ian, and I’m a connection-abuser.
You wouldn’t know it to look at me – I seem like a pretty ordinary guy if you passed me on the street. But despite my innocent appearance, I have some serious cravings.
This got me into trouble a lot growing up. I had a bad habit in university of oversharing my life story to fellow drinkers around the keg. I would sometimes wind up with friends out of convenience, rather than actual shared interests.
Over time, I became something of a connection connoisseur (Read: I got standards). I gravitated towards friends I could share more of myself with, who actually wanted to hear what I had to say in return. My increasingly compatible romantic partners also reflected this.
I had been dancing Latin and ballroom styles throughout this time – what better way to connect, right? – and it gradually occurred to me that dance itself was a form of connection, albeit with a very different form of language.
I could feel if my dance partner was upset, or nervous, or confident, just by the way she moved, how she connected, or didn’t connect. And there were whispers of deeper nuances I couldn’t easily quantify.
Over time, I’ve gained massive respect for the written and spoken language (and generally feel we as a species are pretty awful at both). But there are certain limitations to what is said and written, that cannot be (easily) communicated. A depth of meaning, a gravitas, is often lacking.
For these, we must employ other mediums.
Have you ever heard a song and found yourself wondering what was going through the artist’s mind as they wrote it? You may have felt similarly when looking at a particularly interesting piece of architecture, or a set of adult-themed cupcakes.
We can’t help but infuse something of ourselves in everything we create (unless we’re making absolute drivel). You don’t even have to be an artist – or rather, anyone can be an artist, even while mopping the floor of the public school cafeteria at 2AM.
As there are no two bodies alike, so is there a unique and personal way of doing anything.
Everyone has an opportunity to create. But I believe the ones who do it best aren’t motivated by expensive vacations or the vapid admiration of fans. They are looking to connect, to reach out through that song or painting, grab the collar of the unassuming engager, and say, firmly: ‘This is me. Deal with it.’
The fans of a particular artist are the ones who heard the message, and felt less alone in the world for it. And that’s a f**king miracle, because most of what of what we think connecting with another is, doesn’t even come close.
You know you’ve connected with a song – and the artist behind that song – when hearing it feels like the best goddamn thing in the world. Even a sliver of that person’s truth, honestly given, is Nirvana.
So whatever your medium of communication is, whether it’s selling flowers or auditing taxes, do it YOUR WAY. If you love your work already, people will see it and love you for it, and if you hate your work, it’ll be quiet way of stickin’ it to the Man.
Actually, don’t even do it make other people happy. Do it because the world needs people who do things differently. Do it because one authentic connection might be all someone needs to keep from hurting themselves tonight. And most of all, do it because your time on Earth is irreplaceable, and you deserve to be present for Every. Single. Second.
Get on with your bad selves, you crazy kids.
Credits:
‘Couple in Red Sweater Dancing’ by Alex Green from Pexels
‘Picture of Eifeel Towel’ by Thorsten technoman from Pexels
‘Unemotional woman reaching arms near trees under blue sky’ by Vinicius Altava from Pexels