Our brains and bodies are largely at war with each other. And it’s not an even fight.
We’re used to identifying with ourselves as rational creatures; we use our minds to solve problems, conquer obstacles, and so on. The less-predictable emotions by contrast, are as likely to help as get in the way.
Some even consider emotions, especially negative ones, largely unnecessary. Others just learn to push those unhelpful feelings down, so they can “get on with their lives”.
But that’s a mistake, and not just because we won’t actually live more happily or productively. For despite the illusion of control the brain gives us, it’s on the losing side of this boxing match.
First though, let me clarify: What exactly do I mean by the brain and the body?
By “brain”, I’m talking about the part of our experience we are most conscious of, the part we often feel is actually “us”. This slice of reality is where we feel the most in control, where we make conscious decisions and so on.
If the brain is our human brain, the body might be referred to as our “mammal” or “lizard brain” – so-called because they evolved much earlier. Put generally, the mammal part deals with emotions, while the lizard deals with with autonomic body functions and the fight-or-flight response.
I’m no neuroscientist (so if you are, please be kind), but we might refer to this body-centric brain as our subconscious – and it’s capable of processing FAR more information than our conscious brain. Thousands of times more.
So, we have a brain that makes all the major life decisions, but has access to relatively little information, and a body that has access to lots of information, but acts on the brain’s orders. It communicates too, through emotions and sensations, but these are largely ignored.
Perhaps you see the potential problem here.
Whatever you say Abby (I mean brain)…I’m about as much of a historian as I am a neuroscientist, but somewhere along the way of our cultural evolution, certain value shifts started to strain our brain-body relationship. We began craving comfort and control in our lives, for example. And by WE, of course, I mean our brains.
But the more we tried to control our experiences in our homes, our cars, and our workplaces, the more all the parts we couldn’t control really started to piss us off. We had lost the ability to deal with the unexpected with equanimity (my new favourite word BTW).
Let me give an example: I’m a fidgeter.
Any time when I have space for my brain to natter, I become aware of every itch, every ache in my body, and have to fight powerful temptations not to go bush-crazy in the middle of the street.
Over time though, I’ve learned that if I mentally expand the feeling and let it diffuse across my whole body, it becomes quiet enough to be ignored. And it eventually goes away. To be replaced by others. Which go away. And so on.
In other words, there is no end to some kinds of discomfort. Sometimes, things hurt. The bus is late. The cat ate your goldfish. You have a headache.
Of course, some feelings or emotions are more serious, but that just makes it even more important not to shut them down. Trying to establish a sense of control over the examples above can range from complaining at the universe to taking a Tylenol. And in each of these cases, your body pays the price.
A headache for example, can be a symptom of a more serious problem. Tylenol doesn’t address the problem – it just prevents you from feeling the symptom of that problem. So the true problem, like drinking too much the night before, goes uncorrected.
That was pretty bad-*ss though.
Even getting mad at the universe exacts a toll, as stress and anger has been scientifically proven to increase the risk for a variety of health issues. And these are relatively mild, compared to some of the other ways we try to numb out our discomfort.
Many of us are guilty of drinking too much, smoking too much, watching television too much, etc… I am guilty of some of this too, but like with itches and pain, it occurred to me that no matter how much I try to satisfy that craving for comfort, control and fun – it can never be satisfied.
Why? Because the needs of the body – of our primitive brains, which pick up on stressors in our life before our conscious brains do – are being processed by a lump of grey matter that sits in our head. It can’t be filled by eating, or satiated by drinking, or entertained after the television is turned off. And yet to numb itself, it craves ever more.
Meanwhile, the body becomes TOO full, drunk, lazy, etc. And our brains don’t notice, numbed out on the constant stimuli our comfortable lives offer us.
The saving grace is that, like my fidgeting habit, we can learn to experience more of what our body is telling us, and let that be a guide to the REAL problem. Or maybe there is no “real” problem, and we can just brush it off and get on with our lives, instead of losing it every time Pro Tools glitches out.
I know this doesn’t automatically fix anything for you. You still have to deal with the stressors, the mud splashes, the 2-tracks that didn’t render properly, whatever.
But if, like me, you find the right perspective helps keep you from blowing up, knowing that you have a learned desire for constant comfort – that will often not be satisfied – may allow you to become more accepting of life’s lemons.
And if low-level discomforts, heat, anxiety, etc. make you want to play the victim card, recognizing the transitory nature of these things can help you stay focused on what’s important.
Learn to be okay with being uncomfortable. It’s good practice for life’s tougher moments.
Credits:
‘Black Hand Spinner’ by Sebastian Voortman from Pexels
‘Brain Think Knowledge Mind Science’ by b0red from Pixabay
‘Macro Photography of Green Crested Lizard’ by Sameera Madusanka from Pexels
‘Man Doing Boxing’ by Pixabay from Pexels
‘Man Wearing Brown Suit Jacket Mocking on White Telephone’ by Moose Photos from Pexels
‘Thinking Thoughts Overthinking’ by GDJ from Pixabay
‘Upset Overwhelmed Stress Tired’ by Robin Higgins from Pixabay