Man, it’s been a hard week.
My latest track, “Steam-Powered Knight”, has been kicking my a**. Lots of new instruments to learn how to reproduce and arrange, and sometimes the inspiration just hasn’t been there.
I’m coming out the other end, thankfully, and just finished my first fully productive day since my mood dipped. What I wanted to share however, was a few things I learned hearing about the struggles of another dancer and blogger, The Girl With the Tree Tattoo. You can check out her article here.
What hit me wasn’t what she was going through, and it wasn’t even how she got through it. It was why she wrote it, and her concerns about doing so. And it’s made me take a hard look at myself.
The Problem of Trying To Relate to Others
I tend to want to share difficult experiences I’m going through with others, partly to let them know others are struggling as they are, and partly to garner support for myself. Hey, sometimes I need it.
Thing is, I don’t think I’m very good at it. Too often, my attempts in this direction are interpreted as me making a bad situation about myself at the expense of others who feel similarly.
Before diving into her story, TGWTTT expresses her concerns about sharing too much, to the point that readers can’t tell what the central message is supposed to be.
I previously wrote an article entitled “Why Creating Is Hard“, in which I shared a slice of the anxiety I sometimes feel while trying to find inspiration in my music.
I assumed the title would speak for the rest of the article, both as a way to get others to nod their heads, and to hoist a finger at those who think being a music artist – or any artist – is easy.
I worry now however, that the article comes off as simply dark, depressing, and kind of whiny. I struggle to find the line between relating to others and TMI, which TGWTTT’s article helpfully reminded me.
The Problem of Talking About Others
TGWTTT’s next point was to express concerns about oversharing details about other people’s lives. Thankfully I seem to be more sensitive to that faux pax, and believe I (mostly) err on the side of safety.
There are times however, where I’m tempted to talk about something relating to my relationship with my wife or a friend, because I feel it’s relevant to the story. It seems wrong at times to leave it out, because I feel there’s something there that gets my point across better.
The downside of course, it that it risks revealing things that aren’t my right to reveal.
I struggle a lot with authenticity, with finding the most honest way to consistently communicate to others – and not just in writing. But I also must respect that not everyone wants their lives dragged into the light of the internet, even the seemingly mundane parts.
The Problem of Sharing Your Story Before It’s Done
TGWTTT’s third concern was in regards to making sure you always share a complete story. For example, if I’m feeling a lot of anxiety, it’s irresponsible for me to just blog “hey guys, I’m going crazy over here! Anyone else want to curl up in bed and cry?”
Some of the people who read this blog might be very sensitive to that kind of energy, and it’s cruel and potentially dangerous to hit them with something triggering without including the light at the end of the tunnel.
Real Talk: I don’t have a lot of friends – and I generally prefer it that way. But I DO get lonely at times for the kind of person who can hear what I’m going through and at least verbally tell me it’s going to be okay.
But for every person like that, there’s likely a bunch of others who feel worse than I do, with fewer resources to pull on. And I can’t pour my heart out onto the page whenever I want to, and still treat those people with the gentleness and compassion they deserve.
So, let me just say, that I will try to be more conscious of these three points going forward. And if something I wrote inadvertently triggered you, then I’m truly sorry. This may be my blog, but what I write here isn’t ultimately for me, it’s for you. I will try to do better.
P.S. If you want more of a dancer’s perspective on life’s trials, etc., check out The Girl With The Tree Tattoo’s blog here.
Credits:
“Bench Near Brick Wall With Inscription You Are Not Alone” by Brett Sayles from Pexels
“Woman Leaning on Table” by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels